a question

tinanong nya ko kung bakit gusto ko magpakasal someday.
i couldn’t give her an answer.
not because i didn’t have one.
but because i was afraid she’d reject the idea, or MY idea of ownership.

i wanted to tell her why i wanted to be owned by anyone.
by her.
why i wanted to own her.

pero iba na kasi sya eh.
sobrang layo na sa **** na nakilala ko dati.
or.
maybe this is who she really is.
baka ganun na sya mag-isip dati pa.

pero kahit na.
masasaktan pa din ako.
selfish neh?
hehe.

the feeling of being owned by someone. the feeling of having self-worth.
that you’re not just someone, but THE one.
na hindi ka lang isang taong dadaan sa buhay nya.
na you’re worthy enough to keep.

the feeling of having someone you own.
someone you’ll take care of.
na aasa sayo.
na dedepende sayo.
na magsasabing “i’m his”
who will be proud of being yours.

that’s basically what marriage is.
hindi naman uso ang papers,rings, and last names noon eh.
it’s belonging to someone you love and who loves you.

pero syempre. kung mahal mo yung tao, hindi naman sigurong masama kung isa-papel yung pledge na yun di ba.
hindi ka rin sigurong mahihiya na magsuot ng isang bagay sa daliri mo na sumisimbolo na you belong to someone na.
and if you really love someone, i don’t think it would hurt wearing his last name.

pero hindi na dapat maistress sa mga bagay na to. ang importante eh kung ano ang kahulugan nila.
yun lang naman talaga ang mahalaga eh. kung anong nararamdaman nten. kahit sa simpleng relationship, say bf/gf, ang importante eh kung mahal pa nten yung karelasyon nten, kahit anong gawin nung taong yun, or kahit wala syang gawin, ang mahalaga eh kung mahal ka pa din nung taong yun.
but we’d be treading another topic kung ieexplain ko pa to.

haay.
bad day.
bad day.

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About delamorte

Eherm... A boy with a soiled face who's spent 23 pathetic years trying to make a difference... An old man trying to talk his way out of his own cage... And the Seer who's trying to poise these two alter egos' rage... You won't find anything interesting enough in me to ask about my real life facts. Trust me, things will get more and more boring once you take that path. Disclaimer : These are just random rants and stories cooked-up out of boredom and prolonged stages of catatonia. Please feel free to troll/criticize my works, i am but a poor soul trying to find my way out of this miserable phase some of you call life, your critiques shall serve as my guiding light.
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