I bent until I broke.
I swallowed the pain the anger the hate that seething hate until it consumed me.
But it was just too much.
I lost conciousness. It was really hard focusing on what I needed to keep myself from imploding, but it was too much. So in compensation, my brain just shut itself down.
My nerves were fried to oblivion.
I traversed minutes hours days weeks months without knowing where I was, who I was, and what I was doing.
They were like grains of sand, no matter how hard I try to catch up, they kept flowing right through my hands.
You destroyed me.
You built me up so I can be on my way so you can get rid of me.
You made me think that I’m ready to brave this forsaken place so you can run off and self-destruct.
You forgot that you were responsible for who you’ve tamed.
You forgot that this was a good thing, that at one point of your life you considered being owned a good thing.
You forgot that you were on your way to building a new life for you and your little one.
You missed being a wreck.
A dark side of you missed hangovers and hangups.
That dark side missed being in somebody else’s arms.
That sick dark side of you missed the thrill of being chased by someone who you think adores you.
That pathetic sick dark side of you missed being in the midst of people that gave you praises, that made you feel good about yourself.
No matter how no matter when no matter what no matter from whom, you held on to what pulled you through.
You denied contentment until it became only a queer idea.
You got tired of the simplest of things.
Every mistake I made became a fatal one.
You got tired of me.
You blindedly embraced your new-found faith in doing the right thing all because you got tired of me.
You held on to that idea because you wanted to escape.
You needed a reason.
A very convenient reason.
You slashed through the wall that separated me from him.
You never knew that you were looking at me with those old and loathing eyes he made for you.
I kept screaming out for you but all you heard was his voice.
I tried holding on but you pried off my death grip because you thought it was his that held you.
You enjoyed freedom so much that you’ve unconciously morphed it into your own old enemy, a cage.
All because you got tired of me.
All because I’m broken.
All because you got tired of using a broken toy.